Sometimes When We Touch
by gf7
Summary: The search for Havok begins. Jean and Scott experience some strange emotional turbulence.


TITLE: Sometimes When We Touch  
AUTHOR: Shawn Carter  
WEBSITE: Apparently my site is currently down and deleted because batcave.net sucks. It'll be a bit before it's back up. You can find all of my stories currently also on www.fanfiction.net under ShawnGF.  
EMAIL: shawngf@earthlink.net  
DISCLAIMER: Marvel owns 'em. I just deal.  
NOTES: Takes place after Landslide.  
SUMMARY: The search for Alex Summers begins. Scott and Jean have a rather strange day with an odd connection at work.  
DEDICATION: Much thank yous to Christine de Chagny. Thanks for the music and the idea. :)  
  
  
***  
"I have the strength to recognize  
That I don't know how to let you go"  
  
***  
  
"Close your eyes."  
  
"They're closed."  
  
"Lorna, they're not," he protested, tickling her a bit. He nuzzled into her neck and inhaled deeply, dropping a gentle kiss onto her soft skin.  
  
"Mmm," she moaned. "Now they are."  
  
He turned her around and then planted a kiss on each of her eyelids. "Now, they are," he agreed.  
  
"So Mr. Summers, why are they closed?" she queried, trying like crazy to start the flush that was racing up her body. From the toes on up.  
  
"I have a present for you," he said easily, his fingers sliding across her cheek. He bent forward and kissed her again and damn if it didn't take every ounce of strength to stop himself from lowering her to the ground.  
  
"Oh, I like that," she murmured, not exactly specifying what it was that she liked.  
  
"Good," he said. A moment later she felt him wrap his arms around her waist. She startled a bit realizing that that meant that he was down on his knees.  
  
"Alex?"  
  
"Easy, babe," he replied, squeezing her. "Do you know how much I love you?"  
  
"I have an idea," she said, tears beginning to form in her eyes. She opened them and looked down at him. "Baby?"  
  
He was crying too but these weren't tears of joy. His body language was all wrong. They were no longer celebrating an anniversary. He was in agony.  
  
"Alex," she said, reaching for him. She even managed to touch the top of his hair, to ruffle several too long blonde strands.  
  
And then he was gone.  
  
Simply fading away.  
  
But the fear and pain seem to linger.  
  
Until she woke up.  
  
Screaming as usual.  
  
***  
  
Ororo Monroe was the kind of woman who just flowed. Everything about her seemed to have a gentle almost swaying rhythm to it. Even when she spun into a righteous rage. It was still almost Shakespearian.  
  
Her entire life had been spent learning how to use her mutant gifts to disrupt the mighty forces of nature..to get them to flow more to her liking. It was her way. Her nature,  
  
Thus calm was her flow.  
  
And the tall red head standing five feet in front of her was certainly not going with it.  
  
"Jean," she soothed, for probably the tenth time.  
  
It wasn't making a difference. Jean Grey was pacing the kitchen like a caged tiger.  
  
She turned suddenly, "I can't calm down. I'm anxious and I don't know why." She rubbed her hands together frantically as if to show what she talking about.  
  
"Sit down," Ororo suggested, taking her friends arm. "Have a cup of tea. Easy."  
  
"I..I can't.." Jean sputtered.  
  
"You and Scotty," Bobby Drake said as he entered the kitchen. He crossed over to the refrigerator quickly and began to make his way through it's contents.  
  
"What do you mean?" Ororo queried as she pushed a mug into her friends' hand.  
  
"He's definitely..in a Scott mood." Bobby murmured as he took the milk out.  
  
"Don't you dare," Jean snapped, glaring up at him. His eyebrows shot up.  
  
"Wha?"  
  
"Drink from that milk carton..don't you dare.."  
  
"K..Ok..sure..Jeanie..uh.."  
  
"Oh fuck," she hissed, annoyance creasing her face. She sagged back in the chair. "Sorry. Don't know where that came from." She sighed dramatically. "So..about Scott? He was showering when I woke up."  
  
"Cussing up a storm," Bobby quipped as he poured the milk into a glass and then added the chocolate syrup. He lifted it up so that Jean could see it. "In the glass."  
  
Ororo patted his head. "Good Robert."  
  
He winked at her. Then he put a finger to the liquid in the glass and almost immediately it hardened. Just a bit. Into a chocolate milk slushy. Jean groaned.  
  
"So..what is Scott's issue, wake up on the wrong side of the bed?" Bobby asked as he used a spoon to stir his breakfast.  
  
Jean frowned, "Dunno. Just..dunno." She dropped her head into her hands, her anger and frustration seeming to have melted away into a strange state of depression.  
  
How very Scott like.  
  
"Jean?"  
  
Speak of the devil.  
  
She looked up at him and offered him a wary smile. She suddenly felt like was carrying a thousand pound weight on her shoulder. Like she hadn't slept in centuries. How very weird.  
  
"You okay," he said, sitting down next to her. He placed a hand on her neck, his fingers grazing her skin. She shivered. Involuntarily. Just a bit. But enough. He lifted an eyebrow.  
  
"I just..oh.." she shook her head. "You know..I don't know..not really."  
  
"Jean, hon, are you okay? You're broadcasting," Scott informed her.  
  
She rubbed her temples,"Honestly..I don't know..I was feeling fine..and then I was feeling angry..and then it just felt like everything dropped out..."  
  
He lifted an eyebrow. "Sounds like my morning." His tone was dry, like he was trying to make a joke. His eyes betrayed him.  
  
"Bad night?" she whispered, looking up at him.  
  
Ororo reached over and took Bobby by the forearm, "Robert, we are intruding."  
  
And really it was just that simple. He gazed back at his friends for a moment and then reluctantly allowed the weather goddess to lead him from the room.  
  
Jean waited until they were gone. "Scott?"  
  
"Dreams," he said simply. He turned his back to her and went over to the cupboard. She was up in a flash. She touched his shoulder and felt him stiffen.  
  
"No, not backwards," she pleaded, green eyes wide with desperation. "God, Scott, we've come so far." She stroked his cheek with her left hand, feeling stubble prickle her palm.  
  
He dropped his head for a moment and then let out air. Slowly. Through his teeth. He turned towards her. "I know. I know. I'm sorry. I'm not doing so well at this, am I?"  
  
"You're doing fine, lover. Just.." she paused a moment. "Just talk to me. Let me in."  
  
"Seems you're already sharing my moods," he joked, offering her a smile.  
  
She hit his arm lightly. "Seems so. Must be contagious." She wrapped an arm him and hugged him to her. "Stop pulling away for once. I'm still standing here."  
  
"I know," he said thoughtfully. "I'm getting that." He dropped his head onto her shoulder and let her pull him closer.  
  
"Scott, Jean...I apologize for interrupting.."  
  
Scott looked up. His posture altered and suddenly he was standing tall. Like a leader. Like Cyclops. Jean chucked a bit. "Professor, not at all."  
  
"We have a bit of a problem," Charles Xavier said as he swept into the kitchen. He was so graceful even without his legs. If one allowed themselves to, one could easily forget that the telepath was wheelchair bound.  
  
"One of the kids?" Jean queried, moving over to the counter. She hoisted herself up on to one of the stools.  
  
"Lorna," Xavier corrected. "The problem is becoming progressively worse by the night. I don't think she's slept through a night since she came back to live with us."  
  
Jean frowned, "I heard her screaming again last night." She looked at Scott with guilt written all over her face. "I should have checked on her."  
  
"It's okay, honey. This thing with Alex is really beating her up."  
  
"Just like losing you beat me up," Jean whispered, reaching out to touch his arm. Just to reassure herself.  
  
"The question is..is Alex alive?" Scott said, his voice soft. It was his baby brother and it was something he didn't really care to touch. He hadn't cried when he'd been told Alex had been killed. In fact he'd never cried. He just hadn't. He'd rolled with it.  
  
Or more to his way, he had buried it.  
  
But Alex was his brother. Someone he loved intensely. Someone that he would always forgive. Someone that he would always miss.  
  
Jean rather figured that maybe it was time to dig up a few graves. "One way or another, Scott, if it's not Alex..someone is hacking Lorna's brain." She looked towards Xavier. "I could feel a very strong..presence isn't quite right..but close enough..when I psi-scanned Lorna."  
  
"It's Alex," Lorna Dane said, entering the kitchen. She looked tired and worn down, shadows beneath her green eyes. Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail and she was clad in gray sweats and New York Mets tee-shirt.  
  
"How can you be sure?" Scott queried, moving towards her. She looked unsteady and his first instinct was to offer support.  
  
She held up a hand to stop him. "I just am."  
  
"Look, Lorna..you know..there's nothing I want to believe more..I mean if it is Alex..then we can get to him and bring him home.." Scott started. "But..what if..what if it's his spirit..just trying to touch you.."  
  
She looked up at him sharply, the pain vivid in her bloodshot eyes. "Alex is alive, Scott. I know he is. They're not just dreams. It's not just spirits. He's in agony. Someone is hurting him."  
  
"Okay," Scott said nodding. "Then we need to move to the next thing..finding a way to get to him."  
  
Lorna look relieved. She took a breath and then let it out and for a moment she actually seemed calm. She slid onto the stool next to Jean. "So, how do we start?"  
  
"Tonight," Charles said thoughtfully. He looked at the green haired mistress of magnetism. "If you don't mind, I would like to watch over your dreams."  
  
For a moment she a looked a bit frightened. Jean touched her arm. "It'll be okay. I'll do it myself."  
  
Lorna looked at Xavier, a bit of a blush on her cheeks. "No offense.."  
  
He smiled and gently replied, "None taken. Fine, tonight, Jean will observe your dreams. We'll see what we can learn."  
  
Lorna nodded thoughtfully. "Sounds okay. Now, what's for breakfast; I'm famished."  
  
***  
  
She looked up and smiled, "Warren."  
  
"This is a unique sight," Warren Worthington III said with a grin. "The beautiful Mrs. Summers soaked in sweat."  
  
Jean swatted at him with her towel. "Remy wanted to run. And run. And run."  
  
"Don't let the Cajun know that he got you all wet Jean ol' girl, else you'll never hear the end of it," Warren chuckled.  
  
"Don't I know it. What are you doing hanging around?"  
  
"Causing trouble. Scamming. You know. Same ol'."  
  
"Uh huh," she said. "Now the truth?"  
  
"Just wanted to check with you..you know..to see how you and Scotty are doing."  
  
She moved to her toes and quickly embraced her old friend. "We've known each other a long time haven't we?"  
  
He nodded. "Been through hell."  
  
"And then some," she commented dryly.  
  
"And now Apocalypse," Warren said, his voice soft. You never really beat some demons. Not completely anyways. No matter how many locks you put on your closet door.  
  
"Has Scott come to talk to you yet?"  
  
"Not yet," Warren admitted. "I'll go to him soon. It's hard Jean..harder then you would think. There are holes inside of you..you stop believing in everything..it becomes you.."  
  
She looked up sadly at him, "See, Warren..that's what no one gets..I do understand..I was there..not Apocalypse but.."  
  
He nodded, bent down and kissed her cheek. "I know." He wrapped an arm around her and then lifted them both into the air. "Up for an afternoon flight, Mrs. Summers?"  
  
She giggled a bit, almost sounding like the girl she had once been. "Why Mr. Worthington..I'd love it."  
  
***  
  
"Scott? Scott? Are you alright?" Xavier asked, looking at his protégé with concern. Things had been rough for the boy as of late but keeping his focus usually wasn't a problem.  
  
Scott Summers blinked. "Sorry?" He shook his head. "I had the strangest sensation..like I was flying..and I felt like I was overcome with.." he paused a moment and then with an eyebrow quirked said, "Giddyness.."  
  
"Giddyness?"  
  
"Like a school girl," Scott said dryly. "And I'm only kind of joking."  
  
"That's..interesting."  
  
"You have no idea," Scott murmured, rubbing his hands together. "I feel like I should be..skipping..you know..too much fun had.."  
  
"God forbid," Logan said, entering the office. "Scott Summers enjoying life..the world just might end."  
  
Scott tossed him a glare but it lacked it's usual punch. "Something wrong?"  
  
"Nope. Just wanted to see where we're standing on rescuing Alex.."  
  
Scott smiled. Like it or not, admit or not, Logan had a heart. He and Alex were friends, hell even hard core drinking buddies. They'd spent far too many night drinking ten cent beers in cheap Mexican bars. At least according to Lorna. She liked to say that when Logan came a calling, it was time to make sure Alex had cement in his shoes to keep him grounded.  
  
Or at least she had liked to say it before Alex had been killed. Or disappeared. Or whatever.  
  
"We're going to.."  
  
Scott was cut off by the sound of loud exuberant cries just outside the office window. When he moved to look out, he saw that Warren was speeding towards the ground, carrying Jean in his arms. And she was laughing hysterically.  
  
And suddenly he felt like doing it to.  
  
So he did.  
  
"Uh oh," Logan muttered. "It happened."  
  
"Scott?" Charles queried, alarmed.  
  
Scott shook his head and blinked. "I..sorry..I..I don't know what came over me."  
  
"I have ideas," Logan said, grinning. He was spinning an unlit cigar between his fingers.  
  
"I bet," Scott replied, his mood souring. He sighed and dropped into his seat. "Okay, Professor..let's go over this one more time."  
  
***  
  
"Jean?" Warren asked, concern streaking across his handsome features. "Are you okay?"  
  
She nodded, face glum. She sighed. "Yeah..I'm just..you know..I guess I'm just tired."  
  
"You weren't a few moments ago," he protested. "That whole Jeckyll and Hyde bit..it was kind of bi-polar."  
  
She sighed and threw up her hands in frustration. "I know. I know." She rubbed her hands across her fast and let out a short cry. "Warren..I don't know what just happened..I was having a great time..and then..I just wanted to find a nice quiet place to get away.."  
  
"That's very Scott."  
  
"Seems I've been very Scott all day."  
  
Warren chuckled. "Yikes. I love me my Scotty but I've been where he is..shudders abound." He put an arm around her chuckled. "Come on, we'll make you some ice cream...that'll perk you up."  
  
***  
He smiled a bit when he saw her enter the room. It was almost involuntary but he really couldn't help it. These days more than ever, she was his lifeline. So sanity. To his own humanity.  
  
"Have a good day?" Scott asked, accepting a soft kiss on the lips.  
  
"A crazy one," she said with a laugh. "I was all over the place."  
  
"You have no idea.."  
  
"You don't," Logan said. "He..giggled."  
  
"No," Jean said with a smirk. "You have to be wrong. Scott doesn't giggle."  
  
"I saw him giggle, eh Slim?"  
  
"Stow it, Logan," Scott muttered. He cleared his throat, trying to find his business voice. "Jean, you ready?"  
  
"Almost," Jean said. "We'll put Lorna under in about five minutes. We're going to hook her up to all the equipment so we can study all of her biological and neurological reactions."  
  
"Sounds like a blast," Logan sighed. Then he expelled air. "I'll be in the hallway."  
  
"You don't have to stick around," Jean assured him.  
  
He looked at her for a long beat and then glanced into the other room where Xavier was helping Lorna get hooked up to all the monitors. Softly he repeated, "I'll be in the hallway." And then he moved away.  
  
"You sure you're going to be okay?" Scott queried, reaching across to touch his wife's face. He couldn't imagine not being able to do that. And even with all of the strange unspoken distance that was still between them, he couldn't imagine not waking up to her in the morning.  
  
*You're thinking. We've talked about this.*  
  
*Can I be sheepish in my head?*  
  
She leaned up and kissed up on the cheek. "God, I love you." Then she sighed. "Yes, I'll be okay. These dreams are tearing her apart..if we had to go into battle tomorrow..she'd be useless to us. And one way or another, Scott..we have to know."  
  
He nodded slowly. "One way or another. Okay..but at the slightest sign of danger.."  
  
She moved forward and took his face between her hands, "Then you'll do what you need to do. You always do."  
  
"Okay," Scott agreed. "Be safe."  
  
"You're scared," she murmured.  
  
"Your telepathy pick that up?" he stammered nervously.  
  
She frowned a bit and whispered, "No." Then she righted herself. "Yes, of course. Don't worry..everything will be okay."  
  
"I wish you felt that way," he said, looking at his hands.  
  
She stared at him for a long moment, a bit confused. Then she said, "I do, Scott. I know everything will be okay."  
  
He looked up at her, seemingly equally confused. "Okay. Go bring my brother home."  
  
***  
  
"That has to be the ugliest shirt I've ever seen," Lorna said with a grin. She reached down into the surf and splashed water at him, hoping to convince him to shed the grotesque Hawaiian shirt.  
  
He just grinned at her and then reached around to sweep her into his arms. "Mmm hmm," he said with a grin that was all his own. He dropped her into the water and laughed when she came up looking a bit like a drowned rat.  
  
Then he frowned, "What's Jeanie doing here?"  
  
Lorna glanced around and saw her red-headed friend sitting on some flat rocks not far away, looking as though she were sunning herself. She looked back at Alex and shrugged. "I guess she's here wondering the same things I am?"  
  
"How Swiss cheese is made," he teased, kissing her neck. She slapped his arm playfully.   
  
"Be good."  
  
"Not fun," he growled into her ear before he went to nibbling on it. She moaned a bit, trying desperately to keep her composure. And her focus.  
  
"Alex," she managed. "Oh Alex.."  
  
"I know my name," he grinned between kisses. He held her tight to him, enjoying the feel of her skin against his. Enjoying the release from the pain that these moments granted him.  
  
"Baby, where are you?"  
  
He looked up at her sharply, his face suddenly growing sad. He shook his head. "Lorna, babe.."  
  
"Alex..it's okay..we're gonna get to you..we just need to know how.."  
  
He looked like he was about to cry. All around him, the beach faded to darkness. Until they were all standing within what might as well be a black hole. He reached out for her but suddenly couldn't manage to touch her.  
  
"I love you, babe," he said, his words rushing together in their urgency. He started to fade, almost like a hologram. But she knew for damn certain that she had felt him against her. His flesh against hers.  
  
"Alex.."  
  
He placed a hand to his temple and a moment later she saw a stream of blood slide it's way down his face and then suddenly dry up. Dirt suddenly clouded his handsome features. Dirt and matted blood. He looked back up at her, confusion in his blue eyes. "I..I.."  
  
"Baby," she urged.  
  
And then he was gone. Just gone.  
  
A moment later, she woke up sobbing.  
  
Jean jumped up and moved over to her friend, pulling the weeping woman into her arms. "Shhh, shhh...it's okay. It's okay." She kissed her forehead and continued to rock her, all while searching the room for her beloved.  
  
"Jean?" Scott said, entering the room.  
  
She held up a finger to pause him but her eyes never left his. After a moment, Lorna drifted back off against her. "I gave her a sedative. That should keep her from dreaming. Outside."  
  
Scott followed her lead and stepped outside of the infirmary where Logan was leaning against the wall, trying to pretend that he wasn't interested. A few moments later, Xavier and Jean joined them.  
  
"Either Alex is alive or someone is fucking with her on a scale..Scott, I can't imagine." She shook her head. "I can feel his pain. His panic." Then she looked at Xavier and very firmly said, "It's real. Havok..Alex is alive."  
  
Scott nodded slowly, thoughtfully. "Okay. Okay. So I guess the next question is..how do we bring him home?"  
  
Jean shook her head, "No..the next question is..how do we get to him before the dreams kill Lorna."  
  
Logan looked up in astonishment. "They're just nightmares.."  
  
"They're not. Alex is continuously contacting her on the psi-level..she's not trained or able to consistently handle the strain on her mind..it could kill her." Jean informed them.  
  
Xavier frowned, "And I don't imagine there's any shot of convincing her to stay out of the dream-world until we can properly safe-guard her.."  
  
Scott shook his head, "I wouldn't."  
  
"No, I didn't think so." Xavier sighed in exasperation. "Then I suppose..back into the jungle."  
  
"Go we," Scott murmured. Reaching out for his wife, he pulled her close. "Let's get to work."  
  
-FIN 


End file.
